Sometimes one of the Nannies I have placed calls to talk through a problem she’s having, and ask me whether she should speak up or stay quiet about an issue she’s having, perhaps with the employer, or the children.
Firstly the nanny worries about what could go wrong if she spoke up – perhaps the employer would get angry, or think of her as a moaner? Perhaps by speaking up, the Nanny could ruin the good relationship she has with the family, and worse, perhaps she could even lose her job, or the chance of a good reference when she does leave.
These ‘what ifs” take on a life of their own, and the nanny really begins to become anxious.
Now all those things could happen, but I honestly feel it’s not likely. My experience in the past has been that when a nanny goes into a conversation with an honest intention of working through any issue in a polite manner, things usually turn out well.
I do understand the “what ifs” – we get frozen in indecision. It’s easy to see all the bad things that could happen if you were to speak up, and by focussing on that lest, it reinforces the idea that we should stay exactly where we are, and not rock the boat. It’s true that staying where we are, even if we’re unhappy in that place, is always easier than making a change and taking a chance.
There are real consequences as a result of not speaking up.
Firstly, you miss the chance to solve the issue, and secondly you send yourself the message that you’re not worth the effort, and that life won’t give you what you want and need. You drum a negative message into your psyche that the people around you don’t really care about the things that are important to you, and your feelings and thoughts don’t matter to yourself or others.
So when there are particular issues that make you unhappy, please do speak up – make an appointment with your employer and tell them there are some things you would like to discuss with them.
I do suggest though that you don’t just try to catch them for a few words at the end of their own long working day – who knows what’s happened to them that day!
I do hope this helps anyone that is going through issues in their work – speak out, and all kinds of good things can result.
I hope that you have found this blog informative and interesting.
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I look forward to speaking to you soon,
Norma Lewis Nannies